Self acceptance
Two things:
Firstly, people generally look on the outside, at fellow people, objects, places, fb, etc., letting whatever is happening determine their moods, their reactions and their thoughts and feelings.
Secondly, we all know what we don’t want and why we need to be more this that or the other to be really able, kind, successful, likeable, beautiful, worthy, good enough.
Self acceptance = accepting the self
How many people do you have in your life that know you inside out, to whom you have shown up with all that is you, and that still have your back, that you can trust, be open with, feel safe with? Are you yourself one of those people?
Mostly, how we present ourselves to the world stems from our perception of how we should be (look, behave, speak...), and that invariably falls apart from who we really are. It feels unsafe to really show our true colours. I think it’s safe to say that disconnection from others is one of the biggest fears we all harbour. What if I end up all by myself? We rather disguise and show a smooth façade, becoming a likeable, acceptable part ‘of the team’. Invariably that goes hand in hand with criticising or belittling ourselves. But putting ourselves down becomes part of who we are after a while. Who would we think we are, praising ourselves? Not modest, or easy to handle, that’s for sure.
Now imagine a life, where you didn’t have to fear separation, loneliness, feeling shame, being too stupid or not beautiful enough. Imagine you could press a switch and everything would be different. You would feel adequate, joyful, beautiful, worthy, fearless, wanted, funny, creative, .. enough. Now imagine that the switch has the habit of popping back to the old setting, almost like the connection isn’t yet strong enough. You would have to press it again and again, always feeling all the good things about yourself whilst you do so. Each time you pressed, you would feel surer and more determined to have the switch stay in the new setting. Until one day it would, and by tapping into yourself you would think, what was all that about - of course it would stay! Because suddenly you feel all of these things that you feared you never were or would be, you have been granted access by persevering and looking at yourself with kindness rather than criticism.
Imagine you could tell a person that you have sharp edges and your dark moments, but that overall you believed it would be very much worth their while to hang around and find out for themselves how lovely it is to be with you, because deep down you now know that your qualities outshine anything else. How would that feel? That is accepting yourself – for who you are. Knowing full well that you have unpleasant sides that need working on or at least pondering and some self-reflection, but also knowing that you are worthy of someone’s time and effort, kindness, and love. I don’t believe life is about the most perfect package. I believe that we are all on a journey that can be a hell of a trip or a blissfully easy path, for most of us probably a mix of both. But I think that allowing ourselves to make mistakes, to be imperfect, to learn and grow at our own speed is essential.
Coming back to the two things at the beginning: If we let things, people and situations on our outside have complete power over our inside, we’re setting ourselves up for pain and suffering, .. we’re looking at ourselves from a position of lack.
To understand that we have a choice in not letting that happen is the first step to changing that balance. To find a way of working towards becoming our best version is a subsequent second step.
It’s my way of looking at life – claiming back my power, clearing the skeletons in the basement, becoming my own ***** version of myself.
I am fearless in my wisdom. I am fearless in my beauty. I am fearless in showing myself. I am fearless in my kindness. I am fearless in my passion. I am fearless in my intent. I am fearless to change. I am fearless in my boundaries. I am fearless in my clarity. I am fearless in my joy. I am fearless in my choices. I am fearless in falling in love with life. I am fearless in my magnificence. I am fearless in abundance. I am fearless to create. I am fearless in my love. I am fearless in being ME.
CA, May 2020
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